You are nothing anymore. You are dead, you have no dignity, you have no love, no happiness, you have become the empty shell you've always wanted to be. Nothing can save you from decomposing like the organic material you are.
But don't worry, you won't be missed. It'll be like you never existed on this sad sidistic thing we call a planet. You will have never breathed, touched, ate, felt, existed.
Besides, that's not what your're here for anyways. If you we're here to live we would have hired a common prostitute or someone who had nothing going for them. But we didn't choose that person, we chose you.
Theres no going back in, once you start